Tuesday, October 07, 2008

stumped


A reflection off the finely waxed floor of the sleek, Santiago Calatrava-designed Aeropuerto de Bilbao (Bilbao Airport). I turned my camera upside-down to get the reflection right-side up. Sondika, Spain. (2008).

***
Consider this your skill-testing question of the day.

Say, you live in a small, isolated town in the far, far north of Canada. You are in desperate need of a haircut. There are only two hairstylists in town. One has stunningly beautiful, gorgeous hair. The other has gag-inducing, hideous hair. Both have gonorrhea. Who do you choose to cut your hair, and why? (Assume you have stumps for hands due to an incident with a polar bear and, therefore, cannot cut your own hair).

Me and the editor await your reply.

10 comments:

  1. I'd get my mom to do it. Or become a hippy. Actually, I choose the latter.

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  2. Just what kind of "haircut" are you talking about where gonorrhea is an issue? I know things must get pretty lonely up there in the far, far north of Canadia, but I didn't realise things were quite that liberal up there.

    For my two cents, though, you would have to go with the gag-inducing stylist. Clearly they are responsible for the stunningly beautiful hair of their counterpart. But hang on a minute... aren't there two doors in this story, and one stylist always tells the truth, one always lies, and you only have one question?


    and four minutes to save the world?

    maybe I'm getting things mixed up a bit...

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  3. I'm with 'mashed swede' here ... I don't know how you guys do things up north, but in my experience, haircuts don't typically come with happy endings.

    As for the particular hair stylist, I'd go for the one with stunningly beautiful hair, because if I'm going to get gonorrhea from someone, my standards dictate that they must at least have nice hair (call me picky).

    Oh, and the picture is awesome.

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  4. What a dilemna...if you get your hair cut by the gag-induced hair lady your sure to get a great cut...I mean if her hair looks that bad...regardless of your cut...next to her you will think you look fabulous, but I mean its all fun and games untill some cathes gonorrhea. However, getting your hair cut by beautiful hair lady puts your hair to chance, but everyone knows people with nice hair can't get gonorrhea. True story.

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  5. I am a combination of amused, shocked, impressed, and dumbfounded by the stupendous (haha, "stupendous" - I love that word) comments thus far. But let's see if we get a few more takers before I address each one here separately.

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  6. I would certainly go for the beauty. If you were going to suffer, must as well suffer happy. I like the picture. It is bold and unique.

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. I have seen this riddle before. The logical answer is to go to the hideous she-hag with the effed up haircut because you assume that each hair dresser cuts the other ones hair.

    But WAIT.

    I have a few different takes on this:

    1. What if the chick with bad hair is that way because she is SO ugly that the hot stylist doesn't want to cut her hair? As a result, she might be forced to cut it herself - meaning that she IS a bad hair dresser.

    The corollary to this is that the hot stylist can't stand looking at ugly people (which we previously established), so she also is forced to cut her own hair and, lo and behold, she’s actually pretty good at it.

    2. I am a guy. Worst comes to worse, I can get a buzz cut (or something) and kinda/sorta pull it off.



    Therefore, in either scenario #1 or #2, you go to the hot chick and stare are her sweet, sweet ti..., err, body and find excuses to stay in the chair for an hour. (I.e. maybe get a color and a perm...even though I'm a dude).


    You should publish the 'winner' in an actual blog article or something.

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  9. I'm definitely not as creative as all the other posters but here's my two cents...

    When I get a haircut, I'm all about the head massage you get when they are washing your hair. Therefore, I would choose the one who would do the best job of that. Besides, in a desolate town in Northern Canada, you can wear a toque all year long.

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  10. Ok, ok: it's been a week and about time I address the many creative comments that were left on this post. And the winner is ... nobody!

    Although, to be sure, many comments were very well-thought out, incredibly, no one addressed the fact that you have stumps for hands! I mean, it doesn't matter if you have a nice haircut or not, there's no way you can even comb or brush your hair in the morning if you have stumps. You might as well be bald. Which is the right answer to this riddle.

    Now addressing your comments separately ...

    Sohobutterfly ... No, no, no. Think about it. You live in Arctic Canada. Where are you going to get the dope you need to support your hippie lifestyle? Impossible, at reasonable prices. Also, since you have stumps for hands, your mom obviously doesn't love you anymore. Remedial pass, and only because we're in a generous mood today. D. :-)

    Mashed Swede ... You lose marks for going to the ugly hairstylist even if she is the better hair-cutter, but you gain some of it back for your highly creative questioning, only to lose it again by referencing a highly suspect Madonna / Justin Timberlake duet. So where does that leave us? I'm confused. Let's just call it partial credit. B-.

    BDopeker ... You get a check mark for going to the hairstylist with beautiful hair, but implying that you'll also be getting gonorrhea from her is not beyond reproach of this family friendly, respectable blog - and for that, your answer is downgraded accordingly. Bonus marks, though, for complimenting us on the photo. Partial credit. C+.

    Sophie ... Your roundabout logic makes me think you have a future in politics, but none of us (well me and the editor, anyway) fully understand what you're saying and we are somewhat troubled about that true story of yours where people with good hair don't get gonorrhea. You get a C+ if you never tell me that story; C-, if you do.

    Runrui ... Well-reasoned, concise, albeit wrong answer. Bonus points for liking my picture. C.

    Team Shawn Michaels ... Excellent detail in the response, obviously well-thought out, good honesty in mentioning that you would go to the hot stylist to stare at her "sweet, sweet ..." Unfortunately, you have stumps for hands, and that makes you a freak, and we can't give freaks a mark any higher than a B. Sorry.

    Donna ... You don't give yourself enough credit, massage and toque are wonderfully creative. However, you don't mention which of the hairstylists would actually give you the better massage, so I'm forced to dock you marks on that. B-.

    Until next time, folks, thanks for playing!

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