Tuesday, October 14, 2008

decision 2008: deep dish

What? Another election? No, we don't mean the upcoming US Presidential election that everyone's supposedly an expert on, but rather today's Canadian mudslingin' of a vote. Well, yee-haw! And giddy-up.

Sorry if we sound a little jaded, but quite frankly, we here at the fiercely independent headquarters of starfish and waffles grow tired of the fast-talking politicians and the mindless partisans who blindly follow. Isn't there anyone out there who can give the good bears and citizens of this fine nation what they deserve? Good government! Fiscal prudence! Enlightened problem solving! Inspired political vision!

Or, barring these things, you'd think at least we could get a tasty slice of pizza.

Peanut, the famous editor of felix's daily starfish and waffles and a future Governor-General of the Dominion of Canada, enjoys a morning slice of his very own Political Pundit Pan Pizza with a customary shot of (Swedish!) Absolut vodka.

Thankfully, disgruntled electorate, starfish and waffles is in tune with the issues nearest and dearest to your democratically inclined heart. Skeptical? Please, look at our track record. Back in 2006, we candidly spoke out on the controversial soda vs. pop debate. Then, a year later, we came up with a lasting, consensus-building solution.

And, we implore, this year will be no different as we present you with ... (drum roll please) ... Peanut's Political Pundit Pan Pizza, a pizza pie so perfectly palatable, anyone on the political spectrum oughta be able to agree on it! Don't believe us? Well, if not, then you - sir or madam - are, quite frankly, some kind of fascist-commie. Yes, that's right, you heard me: fascist-commie. Yeah, I went there!

Peanut's Political Pundit Pan Pizza
3-4 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
2-1/4 cups of unbleached flour
1/2 teaspoon of salt
several dashes of dried oregano
several dashes of dried thyme
1 teaspoon of honey
4 grams of quick-rise dry yeast
3/4 cups of hot water
150 mL of pizza sauce or puréed tomatoes
250 grams of mozzarella, grated
1 tomato, sliced
4-5 crimini brown mushrooms, sliced
1/8 of a green bell pepper, diced
1/8 of an orange bell pepper, diced
12-15 slices of pepperoni
12-15 slices of smoked ham
crushed pineapple chunks

Start with the olive oil in a large mixing bowl. Next, dump in 2 cups of the unbleached flour; reserve the remaining 1/4 cup in a separate bowl in case you need this extra flour to dust your pizza dough later. Then, add the salt, thyme, and oregano to the flour mixture.

Separately, measure out the dry yeast in a large coffee mug. Spoon in the honey. Next, pour in the hot water; make sure it is scalding merely very hot. Stir vigorously together. Once you're satisfied that the yeast is blended in with the water and honey, pour the entire concoction in your mixing bowl with the flour mixture.

Now, to the nitty-gritty of working the pizza dough. Using your bare hands, mix and meld the mixing bowl ingredients until a nice, consistent blob of pizza dough has formed. It shouldn't be too sticky (dust it with some flour if it is), nor should it be too dry. The dough should feel warm, soft and a bit moist.

After several minutes of mixing and melding, cover the mixing bowl for about 5 minutes to let the dough rise. Then, slowly pound-out and spread your the dough evenly onto a 12" pizza sheet. The crust at the edges of the pan should be shaped somewhat higher.

Preheat your oven to 400F or 200C. Spoon the pizza sauce on the dough. Layer on top of the sauce the pepperoni and ham; toss on the crimini brown mushrooms where there are gaps. Add the sliced tomatoes, diced green and red bell peppers, and the crushed pineapple. Next, add the mozzarella - and now you're essentially done the prepping.

Once the oven is ready, place your pizza in the oven on the middle rack. Bake for approximately 15 to 20 minutes or until the cheese is a nice, melted goldie-brown colour.

Take your pizza out of the oven. Slice, eat, enjoy, and go vote!

For more original recipes from the dingobear kitchen, please refer to the corresponding links on the left sidebar of this page.


  1. alright fella,

    for a start, you can't be adding scalding hot water to the yeast; that'll kill the babies. BUT you get extra points for adding pineapple to pizza. Are you sure you are not really a koala bear? Koala bears are fond of pineapple on pizza and egg and beetroot on burgers...

  2. But killing the yeast is our way of ensuring a thin-crust pizza!

    And no, I haven't been koala bear since I got out of rehab for my Percodan addiction ...

  3. Peanut needs to come home to Canada do make me pizza!!!!!