Thursday, February 22, 2007

my simulated reality tv life: episode twenty

Twenty! Yes, 20! Tonight's upcoming episode makes twenty episodes of My Simulated Reality TV Life, the most popular simulated reality series in the land. Miss the last episode? Click here for a rerun. Not sure what we're talking about? Click here, to start at the very beginning or look on the left sidebar of this page for links to all of the old episodes. Now hurry and round up twenty of your closest friends because Episode Twenty begins now!

On an unseasonably warm February afternoon, friend simulated Penny, wife Bridgette, and (simulated) yours truly, simulated Felix, are out enjoying the swings and apparently talking shop about God's (blue?) Earth.

Episode Twenty
A few, bulletproof facts about kids. One, they'll cost you a lot of money. Two, they often have weird, smelly friends. And three, they're guaranteed to grow up quickly. Remember, Felicia, simulated Felix's and Bridgette's lovechild? (Haha, "lovechild." I love that word). The last time we saw her, she was a rather uninteresting toddler, and we were fast on our way to killing her off and writing her out of the script. Well, that was then because just look at her now:

Felicia's growing up and, as she does, she's starting to look more and more like simulated Felix, don't you think? Also, from the picture above, it appears as if Felicia has escaped inheriting Bridgette's debilitating right hand disability. Simulated genetics is truly a fascinating thing.

What is she, like eight years old all of a sudden? Absolutely amazing.

Unfortunately, the eight-year old Felicia isn't without her issues. Although she's been blessed with simulated Felix's good looks, she doesn't seem to have inherited Bridgette's smarts, as she's a "C" student at best. In addition, because she's an only child, will this mean she's going to have a difficult time making friends in school? Finally, Felicia seems to spend a lot of time playing with her teddy bear ... which is dangerous because we all know what he's like.

How will Felicia, simulated Felix and Bridgette cope? Stay tuned for the next episode of My Simulated Reality TV Life and find out!

Blowing soap bubbles is a good idea and an integral part of growing up. However, drinking liquid soap is, surely, a less good idea because ...

... liquid soap tastes terrible! Oh, Felicia. We all fear that you're not the brightest kid in the world.

At the flower shop, Bridgette lays down the law on her superstar salesperson, simulated -c: "For the last time, the rule is ... no beer on the job before 10am!"

Simulated -c is, without a doubt, one talented artist. As you can see, she specializes in abstract paintings of fine porcelain.

Felicia's teddy bear to Bridgette: "Thanks for asking. Mine was all jelly and a whirlwind of prophylactics. How was your Valentine's Day?"


  1. That dirty, dirty bear! Watch out simulated Felix .... remember, your only job in life as a parent is to "keep her off the pole"! If you don't, you've failed as a parent ... hanging out with the bear .... not good for a kid ... great laughs for the rest of us!

  2. Ha!

    Your Simulated Reality TV life has once again gripped its audience with entertaining new developments and brilliantly perverted bear comments. Bravo, again!

    I feel an almost maternal connection to our little average Felicia who is growing at a miraculous rate, and becoming quite the looker.

    And, -c, well..., I'm sure she informed Bridgette that, when it's 10am in Saskatchewan, it's 7pm in Ul'yanovsk, Russia. In fact... what kind of flower shop doesn't have vodka available at that hour?! :)

  3. m ... "Keep her off the pole?" Oh my.

    -c ... Without the teddy bear, I don't think there is a My Simulated Reality TV Life. And I have to say, simulated -c makes a great point about the time zones!

  4. I have to say after 20 episodes you would think the studio would spring for some redecorating of the set! Maybe simulated Felix should take matters into his own hands and swing by to pick up some new stuff! :)

    Great show! Keep up the good work.

  5. Haha, thanks Rebecca. If it were up to me, I would redecorate the studio but that simulated Felix seems to have a (simulated) mind of his own ...

  6. Congrats on the big 20! another great episode!