Tuesday, August 01, 2006

my simulated reality tv life: the clip show

As you may have already figured out, the cast and crew of My Simulated Reality TV Life - quite possibly the most critically-acclaimed simulated reality series of all-time - is on summer holidays, probably lying in the sun at some Caribbean beach, sipping piña coladas. But instead of making you sit and watch reruns like all of the other shows in prime time, we here at starfish and waffles are going to do you one better and run a clip show, complete with new scenes you've never seen before! Now, if you're one of the few people out there who have yet to see an episode of My Simulated Reality TV Life, you're pathetic and need to get a life ... but luckily, it's not too late for you so click here and start at Episode One! For everyone else, let's get to the clips!

In the beginning ... the simulated me, living the unglamorous simulated life. Plunge, simulated Felix, plunge!

But then Bridgette comes along ...

... and she decides to marry simulated Felix after less than 20 minutes of courtship! Now that's love at first sight, people.

Naturally, love at first sight leads to much snuggling, kissing, and tons of hot, dirty sex (woohoo!) ... which, inevitably, creates ...

A new baby! Enter scene right: little Felicia ...

... who grows up faster than our writers can properly write her into the script. But here, we have a great shot of the toddler playing in the toilet!

Meanwhile, simulated Felix and Bridgette adjust to life in suburbia and its occassional boredom ... but that's ok ... because the happy couple know how to make their own fun!

Happily, there are plenty of friends in the neighbourhood - like simulated Penny. Refer to the scene above: what are simulated Penny and simulated Felix doing? You tell me!

And even better, there are always zany new characters to meet. For instance, who is this mysterious stranger in the scene above? She could be a Lakers fan. She could be a famous world traveller. She might even contemplate topping off her lemon bars with salsa and guacamole. But one thing is for sure - she's hot! Make sure you stay tuned for future episodes of My Simulated Reality TV Life and find out why she has a toilet on her front lawn!

Finally, a few closing thoughts expressed by Felicia's outspoken teddy bear to simulated Felix and Bridgette: "I make beautiful, beautiful music for a living. Well, sort of. Replace the word 'beautiful' with 'sweet' and the word 'music' with 'love.' Oh, baby!"


  1. So awesome ... way better than reruns ... can't wait to hear who the stranger with the toilet on her lawn is .....toilets ... there were a lot of toilet scenes .....

  2. Wow! I can't wait for the next season to start.

  3. Excellent audience-grabbing recap!

    And that mysterious stranger! Man, she sure is hot! I can't even imagine what that toilet is doing on her front lawn... (for the record, her outfit and long legs are as I remember them. But, it seems she's gotten a great new haicut since last I saw her! Awesome!)

  4. me ... Yeah, I didn't plan it that way but there were alot of toilet scenes weren't there? Haha, but toilets are funny. As for the stranger, click on the "mysterious stranger" link!

    Rebecca ... Thanks for stopping in and definitely be sure to tune into Season Two of My Simulated Reality TV Life!

    -c ... Thanks! Yeah, that mysterious stranger is pretty hot, isn't she? I wonder who she could be? In any event, getting her was a big coup for Season Two and I expect our ratings to go through the roof!

  5. Hey! Greetings from London! I think we're making the American Sign Language sign for "pork chops" in that pic. Mmmmmm...pork chops.

  6. Hi Penny! How are you enjoying the UK? Haha, pork chops.

  7. I'm enjoying it, even though pubs close at 11 p.m. Oh, and I keep telling people I'm Canadian so they won't hate me so much (there is always a disdainful look when they hear the American accent).

  8. Hmmm, sorry to hear about the pubs closing so early and the disdainful looks. Tell you what: forward me a mailing address and I'll airlift you a package full of high-alcohol Canadian beer, little Canadian flag badges you can sew onto your backpack, and maple leaf rub-on tattooes you can stick onto your face. That way, you can be happily drunk at all hours of the day and no Brits will question your Canadianness.

  9. Man, I wish I'd read this message in London! I'm back in Ohio now, but does that beer offer still stand?

  10. Welcome back to North America! For you, Penny, the Canadian beer offer is always on the table.

    Not that I'm greedy, but did you buy and bring me back anything from the UK?

  11. wow that was so WEIRD