Monday, June 19, 2006

my simulated reality tv life: episode fifteen

I'm tired of my travel pictures. You're tired of my travel pictures. What better way to remedy all of this travel picture fatigue than with a brand new episode of My Simulated Reality TV Life? Good, I'm glad you agree. Miss the last episode? Click here for a rerun. Don't know what we're talking about? Click here to start at Episode One. Now don't go away because tonight's episode begins ... right now!

Wife Bridgette leaps into simulated Felix's arms. All of this luvie-dubbie stuff between the two of them as of late has got to stop.

Episode Fifteen
Ok, I apologize in advance. I have to admit upfront that this is not going to be an especially action-packed, exciting or even full-length episode. The reason? I've run the simulation for My Simulated Reality TV Life three times tonight and, each time, all simulated Felix and Bridgette have wanted to do is get it on with each other. Endlessly. They're machines!

Maybe it's because their simulated biological clocks are ticking. Maybe it's just because they're bored. But if simulated Felix and Bridgette keep this up, My Simulated Reality TV Life is going to devolve into a simulated softcore porn show. Not that about 50% of this site's regular readers would mind, I bet.

... and since this is obviously an equal opportunity simulated marriage, here we have a shot of simulated Felix jumping into Bridgette's arms.

One thing about simulated Felix and Bridgette's constant state of, um, "busyness": it's leaving toddler Felicia to pretty much raise herself. Poor Felicia! These days, most of her time is spent quietly playing with her teddy bear and not-so-quietly banging on the keys of her toy xylophone.

Meanwhile, around the corner and down the street, new neighbour simulated Penny - perhaps the last great hope to save My Simulated Reality TV Life from being cancelled - must be upset about something because she's spending large stretches of every day slouched on her couch, drinking. It's hard to say for sure exactly what simulated Penny is drinking but I suspect it's vodka.

What the hell is going on here? Someone, please, stop the simulated madness - it's driving me crazy! Something has got to give!

Make sure you tune in to the next episode of My Simulated Reality TV Life and find out if something does!

Simulated Felix and Bridgette provide each other with some action ...

... leaving toddler Felicia all alone to play with her teddy bear.

The key to a successful simulated marriage: balance, congruency, and the ability to simultaneously make a bed you can bounce a silver dollar on.

Simulated Penny goes shopping for new outfits. Always the trendsetter, simulated Penny belies this season's metropolitan, Euro-chic styling for something a little more ... bobsled.

Felicia's teddy bear to Bridgette: "You recycle all of your milk bottles? Oh, that's fantastic. Why don't you go back to Russia, YOU COMMUNIST!"


  1. What's with the camouflage outfit on Felix in the last pic? Maybe a stint in Afghanistan?

  2. How did you know I'm into neoprene outfits? Are you spying on me?

    And yes, it was vodka.

  3. Sophie, I'm not sure, it's possible that simulated Felix is being sent on assignment but more than likely, he's wearing his camouflage just to impress Bridgette. Simulated women love simulated men in simulated uniform.

    Penny, you're a vodka-drinking, New York-based writer with unmatched bangs. Of course you're into neoprene outfits!

  4. Felix.

    Where were you tonight. Sadly, after the Oilers lost I went to the Strippers with 4 was hot. Lise was "this close" to entering the wet T-shirt contest.

    I figure what set her off was asking Cori is she could grab my ass in the elevator. Cori's reponse? "Well, okay...but only if Dave can grab yours".


  5. Now, this is the kind of action I can get into!

    I loved simulated Felix leaping into the arms of Bridgette. Absolutely classic!

  6. TSM ... haha! I was depressed after the Oilers lost and just went to bed. To make matters worse, I didn't even have anyone there to grab my ass.

    -c ... well, I'm glad at least somebody out there is enjoying the antics of horny simulated Felix and Bridgette! Hey, when are you going to give me permission to put simulated -c in My Simulated Reality TV Life? (My editor wants to know).

  7. dingobear, I'm sure simulated -c would love to hang out with your zany simulated characters! Unfortunately, you don't know what she looks like. But, I can tell you she's hot:) Perhaps I should post a picture... but then the fantasy fades...

  8. -c, oh I think it's already assumed that simulated -c is hot! Well, none of us here would want to ruin your mystique, but if simulated -c does make an appearance, we'll make it clear that she only reflects our resident artist's rendition.