Friday, April 07, 2006

singapore rock city

I was at the office late again tonight, working to churn out yet another investment report for yet another client who will inevitably point out that we didn't make them enough money this past quarter. What can I say? The institutional money management business is a shallow business, and more and more these days, I find myself daydreaming of something with a little more depth.

Cruising down the muddy, typhoid-infested waters of the Singapore River, Singapore (2000). Actually, I don't know that the Singapore River is typhoid-infested but it sounds like it should be. I got a coupon for a free ride in one of those rickety boats you see in the picture above, courtesy of the good people at Singapore Airlines. Photo taken with my old, el-cheapo Kodak APS F300.

So, tonight, there I was ... chained to my generic desk in my drab cubicle ... working but, truthfully, not really working but rather dying just a little bit inside ... when, in a flash of epiphanous lucidity, it suddenly became clear to me that with my university education, years of financial industry experience, and sincere desire to have my life's work profoundly impact all of humankind, there could only be one career that would ever be right for me ...

Rock Star!

I think I would want to be lead guitar because, well, chicks dig guys who play guitar. But that still leaves me a lead singer, bass player and drummer short of a rock band. This is where you come in. I know for a fact that there are at least a few of you out there who have contemplated this very career path, so this is your big opportunity to do the right thing and opt in. Just think of all of the sex, groupies, drugs, alcohol, and rehab! If that isn't cool, I don't know what is. So who's on board?

Oh, one last thing ... we're going to kick off our world tour in Singapore. It was revealed to me as such in my vision. Therefore, it must be true.


  1. Okay, I'm in. You need a singer, right? I play the xylophone, too. And the piano a little. But you should know that my abilities deteriorate rapidly when I sing and play. I'm just being honest.

    Girls also love drummers. Man do they love drummers.

  2. Hey felix--rest assured that i will definately join your band--I've always wanted to play bass, maybe I can do some back ups too. And singapore sounds good to me!! Hahaha i'll send you a proper email soon to update you bro, hope you are well!

  3. whoa, a posting beat me out, but just barely...damn! ah well, i guess that's three of us so far...

  4. Long Division ... oh, this is awesome for so many reasons. You're going to be a fine frontperson for us ... what with all your experience with all of your other bands. Plus, with your new bangs, you're sporting the perfect look. Furthermore, it's about time the xylophone gained its rightful place among rock 'n' roll's most heralded instruments ... and we're going to be the group that makes it happen. It'll be revolutionary!

    Rob ... buddy, what's up, good to hear from you! Hope life in Thailand is treatin' you well. And that's great you're going to be our new bass player ... of course, you're also going to help out Long Division with some vocals from time to time, because I know damn well you can sing. (But I'm sorry, you're going to have to quit your other band because our new band takes priority). Haha! Definitely drop me an electronic mail. Have I told you I might be going to Iceland in May?

    Ok, excellent ... this is a great start but we're still looking for a drummer ... any takers? I hear girls love drummers, man how do they love drummers.

  5. marge where are my pants?!08 April, 2006 00:56

    I can't do any drumming for you i am afraid, but i can provide you with the desired amount of heroin and/or any other narcotics. As everyone already knows, a steady stream of illegal substances flowing into any rock band is just as, if not more, imporatant as a drummer.

  6. Haha, Marge ... ok, you're our official dealer. But your prices better be right because we plan on doing alot of drugs.

  7. I can play the flute, the d'jembe, the spoons and the beer bottle... plus, I think I have a talent for making up utterly stupid lyrics that no one can understand... can you use me in any of these areas?

  8. Hi -c, definitely, you're in! The d'jembe ... nice, that'll give us a genuine worldbeat angle. Also, as everyone knows, utterly incomprehensible lyrics are an integral - integral - component of any successful rock band so -c, I command you to go compose our first #1 hit single right now!

    Ok, so that makes four of us in band, plus a drug dealer. Any suggestions on a band name?