It's the eve of a national election here in Canada, the second one in 18 months. (Now together everyone, a sarcastic "Yippee!!") But regardless of who ends up winning, I predict that the triumphant party will struggle with the tall task of bridging the gap and reaching out to the other side. No, I'm not talking about the heated rivalry between Liberal and Conservative but rather a division that runs much deeper in the psyche of all Canadians ... yes, that's right, I mean the long-running debate on whether one refers to his or her soft drink as "soda" or "pop."
The Canada Citrus Crush: a.k.a. the drink that saved Confederation.
Now, even though I'm still in my youthful, sexy years, I've had the opportunity to live in several different parts of this great, diverse country. And at each stop along the way, I've always been fascinated at how some people say "soda" and others say "pop." But who's right and who's wrong? Well, this patriot says it's about time that the issue be settled once and for all. Why? Because as wannabe Canadian Sam Houston once stated: "A nation divided against itself cannot stand!"
Therefore, in the interests of saving Canada, we here at the non-partisan headquarters of felix's daily starfish and waffles have been working all night to come up with a solution ... and in these early morning hours, I believe we have the answer. We present you with ... (drum roll, please) ... the Canada Citrus Crush, a carbonated drink so neutral, so whitebread, so middle-of-the-road, so devoid of visionary leadership and, most importantly, so infused with alcohol, it is guaranteed to unite this divided nation faster than you can say "gubernatorial." Haha, gubernatorial. I love that word.
Canada Citrus Crush
0.67 oz. Vodka
1.35 oz. Triple Sec
2 oz. Club Soda
4 to 6 oz. Five Fruit Citrus Juice
Pour the ingredients in the order listed over ice in a tall juice glass. Stir and garnish with a slice of orange. Drink and get liquored up!
P.S. Note the name of the drink is the Canada Citrus Crush and not the Canada Citrus Soda or Canada Citrus Pop. Am I a political genius, or what?
P.P.S. I am really, really drunk right now.
Interested in learning more about the soda versus pop controversy? While researching the background for this post, I stumbled upon this interesting website. Go there and find out whether or not you're in the majority in your particular part of North America.